iPhone 16 Pro Max: Worth the Hype or Just Another Minor Upgrade?

The iPhone 16 Pro Max Beard Blog Review. It’s been another year, and I have another iPhone.

The 18th-generation iPhone is called the iPhone 16, continuing Apple’s tradition of incrementing model numbers in ways that defy logic.

This year, Apple is heavily promoting its latest buzzword: Apple Intelligence, their take on artificial intelligence. However, as of now, it’s more artificial than actual — none of the features have shipped yet. Despite billboards, TV ads, and prominent placement on Apple’s website, the only way to experience Apple Intelligence is through a public beta. We’re still weeks away from the first iOS 18 update that will roll out a small slice of the promised features.

In terms of design, both the iPhone 16 Pro and iPhone 16 Pro Max have grown slightly in both height and width, although the bezels have slimmed down. In hand, the phone doesn’t feel significantly larger, but the increased width is noticeable when typing on the virtual keyboard. For me, this added width feels more ergonomic, reducing accidental touches. Side by side, the difference between the 15 Pro Max and the 16 Pro Max is subtle, but the size bump allows for a bigger battery and better battery life.

Some users might lament the constant growth in phone sizes, but as someone with larger hands, I appreciate the change. That said, with the iPhone 16 Pro Max’s 6.9″ diagonal display, I may be nearing the upper limit of comfortable one-handed use. I’m curious to see if Apple will push the size envelope any further in future models.

The standout hardware change in the iPhone 16 this year is the new Camera Control button. It’s yet another dedicated hardware button, but this one is all about camera functionality. It’s a flush, touch-sensitive button that allows you to “half-press” to adjust settings and fully press to snap a photo. Additionally, you can scroll on its tiny surface for deeper control options.

While the concept is promising, the execution falls short. The “half-press” and scrolling features, while intended to enhance control, often lead to accidental inputs. The dedicated camera launch and shutter button is something I’ve long wanted, but the added functions—like zoom control via touch or scroll—frequently cause me to unintentionally zoom or change settings when I just want to take a picture.

Overall, the Camera Control button is a decent idea, but the user experience feels lacking. Much of this could be improved with software tweaks, though we may not see those refinements until next year’s hardware update.

A new software feature exclusive to the iPhone 16 Pro and Pro Max is an upgraded version of Apple’s Photographic Styles. This allows you to apply a custom style to every photo you take. In previous versions, the style was permanently embedded in the image, leaving no option to adjust it afterward. With the iPhone 16 Pro line, however, you can now set the style before capturing the photo and adjust it afterward as well.

Apple achieves this by storing the style data in the image’s metadata, rather than hardcoding it into the photo. This makes it a more flexible and advanced way to edit your photos, both before and after shooting. You can tweak tones, shadows, and colors using a touchpad-style interface, without needing a deep understanding of things like tone mapping, channels, or levels.

For non-serious photo editors, this is a convenient entry point into photo editing, especially considering Apple’s tendency to over-process base photos. Photographic Styles offers a way to restore contrast and shadow detail, counteracting Apple’s default brightening and flattening of images. While this feature is currently limited to the iPhone 16 Pro models, I can easily see it making its way to lower-end models in the future.

Apple Intelligence, the flagship feature of the iPhone 16 lineup (though not yet fully available), has potential and is notably more secure than other AI implementations. One standout feature is email summarization in the Apple Mail app. Instead of opening each email, you get a concise summary in the preview, which is often accurate enough to decide whether to open or delete it. However, it occasionally “hallucinates” and adds details that aren’t actually in the email, a flaw that should improve with future updates.

What sets Apple’s AI apart is its on-device processing, meaning your data stays on your phone rather than being sent to cloud services. This requires more powerful hardware, and Apple has designed these new iPhones to handle it. On-device AI also means faster results, without relying on an internet connection that can slow down responses.

While I’m optimistic that Apple Intelligence will become a useful tool, I don’t see it as the kind of revolutionary feature that will spark an iPhone boom. It’s more of an evolution than a game-changer.

The 2024 iPhone Pro line feels like one of the most incremental updates Apple has released in a while. Aside from the new Camera Control button and a slight size increase, the iPhone 16 Pro Max is nearly identical to the 15 Pro Max in terms of functionality. This year, Apple seems to have focused more on software, particularly Apple Intelligence, as they try to catch up to companies like Google and Microsoft in the AI race.

I’m hopeful that next year will bring a significant leap in both design and hardware, but recent trends suggest Apple is content with making small, steady upgrades—just enough to keep buyers like me coming back year after year.

The Good

  • Larger screens and slimmer bezels
  • Lightweight titanium frame remains the same
  • Bigger, longer-lasting battery

Missed Opportunities

  • Camera Control feels unfinished
  • Apple Intelligence features delayed at launch
  • No significant camera upgrades

The Bad

  • Dull, uninspired color options compared to the non-Pro models
  • Main camera still suffers from focus distance issues for the third year in a row
  • Ultra-wide and telephoto cameras remain mediocre, with no noticeable improvement over last year
7 out of 10

How can the iPhone 16 Pro Max get to 10/10?

  1. Significant Camera Upgrades: Focus distance issues need to be addressed, along with overall camera improvements.
  2. A Bold Redesign: It’s time for a fresh look to reinvigorate the lineup.
  3. Vibrant Colors: Apple should bring back truly vibrant, eye-catching color options.
  4. Explore a Foldable: With competitors advancing in foldable technology, it might be time for Apple to introduce its own foldable iPhone.
  5. Improved Battery Technology: While battery life has increased, Apple should focus on breakthrough battery technology that delivers even longer usage without compromising design or weight.

Should you upgrade?

If you already own an iPhone 15 Pro or Pro Max, there’s no compelling reason to upgrade. Your current phone is fully capable of running Apple Intelligence, and the slight size increase and Camera Control aren’t significant enough to justify a new purchase.

However, if you’re using an older model, the iPhone 16 is worth considering, especially if you’re interested in Apple Intelligence. It’s a solid phone this year, with vibrant, interesting color options. That said, unless you specifically need the third telephoto camera or the 120Hz always-on display, the Pro models may not be worth the extra cost this time around.

Ray-Ban-dwith: Smart Sunglasses That Might Make You Dumber

ray-ban-meta

Beard Blog Review – Meta Ray-Ban

Ray-Ban Meta Smart Glasses

I’ve always been loyal to my Ray-Ban Wayfarers, even though recently I discovered the Oakley Holbrook and their impressive lenses. Over the past year, I’ve heard bits and pieces about the Ray-Ban Meta glasses but dismissed them due to concerns about Meta’s privacy track record. The idea of a wearable camera from them felt a little… unsettling. Typically, before trying out a new product, I dive into reviews, watch videos from creators, and gather feedback from peers to get a well-rounded perspective. After some deliberation, I finally decided to explore the world of “smart” glasses myself. I opted for a pair of Ray-Ban Meta Wayfarer Polarized in black.

At first glance, they resemble slightly smaller versions of the Ray-Ban Wayfarers I’ve always loved, complete with the familiar rigid brown leather storage case. The fit is a bit different, mainly because of the thicker arms that house all the smart features. After wearing them for the good portion of the day, they start to become uncomfortable. Hopefully I’ll get used to this in time, but more than four hours of straight wear isn’t working right now.

The charging case is one of my favorite features. If you’re familiar with how AirPods work, you’ll find these glasses quite similar. The case has its own internal battery that you charge, and in turn, it charges the glasses whenever they’re stored inside. This ensures that your glasses are likely at 100% whenever you take them out to wear. There’s no need for a separate charger or a bulky dock—just place them in the case, and charge the case itself once a week using USB-C. Where the button snap usually is on a standard Ray-Ban case, there’s an LED indicator that shows the charging status, which is a handy addition. Another perk is that the case looks just like a regular Ray-Ban sunglasses case at first glance, making it less likely to attract unwanted attention or theft.

Glasshole Photography

The standout feature of the Meta glasses, aside from the obvious sun-blocking capability, is the integrated camera. This allows you to capture photos and videos of whatever’s in your line of sight. The camera is an ultra-wide-angle 12MP sensor, which gives images a slight fisheye effect. However, there are no zoom or telephoto options, so you can only capture what’s directly in front of you. A thin button on the top of the right arm is used for capturing media—a single click takes a photo, while a long press starts recording a video. Videos are only 30 frames per second, but you’re not shooting for quality here. Without the LED privacy indicator light next to the camera, it would simply look like you’re adjusting your glasses when taking a photo. To its credit, Meta has made it clear when a photo or video is being captured by incorporating a flashing light to alert people in view. This light remains solid when recording video and cannot be disabled, ensuring others are aware of the camera’s use.

When you take a photo or video, it’s stored on the glasses’ internal 32GB storage until you can import it to your phone. This can be done in two ways: either by connecting to the glasses’ built-in Wi-Fi network, or, when the glasses are in their case, they can connect to known Wi-Fi networks to sync. If the glasses are in the case and connected to a known Wi-Fi network, the media will automatically transfer to your photo library, provided the app is running. If you’re wearing the glasses, you’ll need to open the Meta View app and connect to the glasses for the media to import. This process can interfere with your phone’s Wi-Fi connection, such as when using wireless CarPlay, since the glasses require the phone to disconnect from the car to complete the transfer.

As for the quality of the photos and videos, they are decent considering the source, but don’t match the capabilities of current smartphone cameras. The glasses don’t support HDR or Live Photos, but they do include geotagging if they’re connected to your phone. Media files are saved in a high-efficiency format, allowing you to store over 500 photos or more than 100 videos of 30 seconds each. Interestingly, photos are taken in landscape orientation, while videos are in portrait. This choice was likely made by Meta to optimize sharing on their social media platforms.

The sunglasses also feature built-in speakers that can function as earphones for taking calls, listening to music, and interacting with AI. These speakers are convenient because they allow you to listen to music without needing anything in your ears. Depending on the volume, people around you may not overhear your audio, although they can get loud enough for bystanders to catch some sound. In noisy environments, even at maximum volume, the sound may be hard to hear, which is where noise-cancelling earphones come in handy. The glasses connect to your smartphone like any Bluetooth headphones, so you can use them for any audio from your phone. The Ray-Bans have five built-in microphones, ensuring you’re heard clearly during calls. In my experience, I had no issues with being heard.

What Am I Looking At?

The last feature, and likely what Meta considers the standout one, is the integration of Meta’s AI assistant directly into the glasses, called ‘Meta AI.’ Similar to Siri or Google Assistant, you can ask Meta AI questions, and it will provide audible answers through the speakers. One impressive capability of Meta AI is its ability to describe what you’re looking at. It does this by taking a photo and analyzing it using an AI model. This can help answer questions like “What type of flower is this?”, “Translate this sign to English.”, or simply “What am I looking at?” It performs well, but its effectiveness is somewhat limited by the wide field of view and lack of zoom on the camera, requiring you to get close to objects for accurate identification.

I really enjoy having an AI assistant on my head, eliminating the need to use my phone. Recently, I visited a zoo and could ask it questions about the animals, receiving instant responses through the speakers. You can even continue a conversation with the assistant without saying the wake word (“Hey Meta”) for several replies in a row, enhancing the conversational experience. I did encounter a few hiccups, such as Meta AI occasionally losing its internet connection, requiring me to restart the app to continue. However, some moments made me smile. For instance, when I tried to take a photo, Meta AI immediately said, “I’m unable to take a photo, there is a hat in the way,” and sure enough, my hat was blocking the camera. Another time, in a noisy environment, when I asked a question, Meta AI responded, “It’s too noisy, and I’m unable to hear you,” which I found accurate, as I could barely hear its response. I’d prefer knowledgeable replies like these over generic ones like, “Sorry, I can’t do that…”.

The Good

  • Premium hardware with a subtle design.
  • Functional as regular sunglasses even when the battery is depleted.
  • Innovative smart case and charging design.
  • Meta AI offers practical utility.

Missed Opportunities

  • Limited color and size options.
  • Speakers could be louder or better tuned.
  • Limited iPhone integration, largely due to Apple’s constraints.

The Bad

  • Camera quality falls short of basic smartphones.
  • Photo syncing is cumbersome while wearing the glasses.
  • Touch controls are not always reliable.
  • Less comfortable than traditional Wayfarers.
9 out of 10

How can the Ray-Ban Meta glasses get a 10/10?

  • Improve camera quality and image signal processing to take more feature-rich media.
  • Better integration with smartphone platforms.
  • Better controls and more physical buttons.
  • More brands, colors, and lens options for the smart glasses.

Should you buy Ray-Ban Meta glasses?

Meta’s smart sunglasses offer a stylish blend of premium hardware and innovative features, including the practical Meta AI assistant that provides real-time information and assistance. They function effectively as regular sunglasses even when the battery is low and come with a smart case that makes charging convenient. While the camera quality isn’t quite on par with basic smartphones and touch controls and photo syncing could be improved, the overall design and functionality make these sunglasses a great choice for tech enthusiasts and forward-thinkers who appreciate cutting-edge technology in a sleek, understated package.

Recalling My Truck: Toyota Tundra

About a year ago, I wrote a blog post outlining my history of vehicles and detailing some future plans. In it, I mentioned, “I am already contemplating the replacement of my current Toyota Tundra with a newer model, as it offers upgraded features that were not available when I made my purchase. While the actual decision remains uncertain, if everything aligns, it may happen in 2024.” It’s fun to look back on that statement a year later.

In May 2024, Toyota recalled over 100,000 vehicles due to a major engine issue involving leftover machined metal, which can cause catastrophic engine failure. Unfortunately, my 2022 Toyota Tundra was included in this recall. As of now, Toyota has not provided a remedy, but speculation points to major repairs for the affected engines. This situation is not ideal, as having my primary vehicle unavailable for an unknown amount of time is not something I want to deal with. So, I’ve decided to move on and started shopping for a replacement.

I’ve only been driving a truck as my daily driver for the past two years, but I knew I wanted another one. I’ve grown accustomed to the size and utility of a pickup truck and don’t want to try anything else. My other family vehicle is a Jeep Wrangler, which has a completely different utility. I started looking at the current 2024/2025 model pickup trucks and narrowed my search down to four models: GMC Sierra 1500, Ford F-150, Ram 1500, and Toyota Tundra. My long list of requirements led me to these models and specific trim levels. The shortlist of requirements included a turbo-charged V6 engine (hybrid if possible), the latest tech with well-integrated infotainment, wireless CarPlay, no chrome, a video camera rear-view mirror, and exterior styling that I liked.

I quickly crossed off the Ford F-150 Lightning, despite the good deals available, as I’m not set up for a fully electric primary vehicle. While our Jeep Wrangler is a plug-in hybrid, and we already have charging in place for that, it wasn’t enough to sway my decision.

Next, I began configuring trucks on the manufacturer websites, but I quickly realized none of the other models were equipped like my current Tundra. Even when I got close to a configuration I wanted, it pushed me into a higher trim that I either didn’t like the look of (see: Chrome) or was out of my budget range. So, I was back to looking at a new Tundra. The latest 2024 model didn’t offer many changes from my current 2022 vehicle, but the new Tundra market has changed drastically since I purchased mine in April 2022. Now, trucks were available on lots, and prices were well under MSRP, reflecting pre-COVID inventory levels. I found a couple of possible trucks nearby that I wanted to check out, but two things prevented me from doing that.

First, a news story reported that Toyota dealers were refusing to accept trades on Tundras included in the engine recall, which was concerning but understandable. Second, a massive ransomware attack on the most popular car dealer software, CDK, left many dealers unable to conduct business, especially car sales.

During the CDK outage, I was in touch with a local dealer about a model they had on the lot. It was a special edition trim that Toyota only produced 1,500 of. While that wasn’t a driving factor, it was outfitted exactly how I wanted a truck. The dealer told me to try again later as they weren’t able to process anything. A short time later, I noticed Toyota listed that truck as sale pending, so I reached out to the dealer again and didn’t receive a response. I stopped by the lot and confirmed that the truck was no longer there. That one got away.

Determined to find something I wanted, I explored more dealers and set my sights on getting a duplicate of my current truck in a different color. Because I’m me, I dove deep into the available inventory, options, and pricing. I came across a rare configuration not too far from me and instantly reached out to the dealer to confirm the truck was on the lot. I made an appointment to go see it the next day.

Between that phone call and my appointment, I researched the truck thoroughly. By the time I went to the dealer the next morning, I was 95% sure I was going to buy it. The dealer experience was better than some I’ve had in the past. Not much negotiation was needed, and I didn’t even test drive the new truck. About two and a half hours later, I was out the door in my new truck and left the old recalled one behind.

Being so familiar with my two-year-old truck, I noticed some differences and improvements in the 2024 model that aren’t widely discussed.

  • The overall fit and finish are much improved in 2024. I attribute this to it not being the first year of production for a new model, as well as reduced post-COVID labor shortages.
  • In my 2022 truck, there was a persistent driver’s side wind noise that the Toyota dealer couldn’t fix despite multiple attempts. I even tried adding weather stripping to the door, but nothing worked.
    • This issue is not present in the 2024 truck.
  • The plastic surround of the infotainment screen in the 2022 truck was never seated properly and eventually cracked due to stress and probably UV exposure. Toyota was aware of this issue but never offered a resolution.
    • This also does not appear to be an issue in the 2024 model.
  • The overhead map/dome light lenses have been changed slightly to improve the spread of the light.
    There’s also a new HVAC button that turns off the rear vents.
  • In the 2022 truck, there was sometimes a hesitation in acceleration when starting out. This issue was reported through a TSB but was never fixed for me.
    • The 2024 truck doesn’t have this problem, which could be due to the hybrid system.
  • While I have no evidence to support this, the turning radius appears to be better in the 2024 truck. This could be a benefit of the TRD off-road package, but it feels like I can turn tighter than before.

Overall, I’m very happy with my purchase and it seems I have gained many improvements over the truck I previously loved. While I’m fully aware that my new 2024 truck could eventually be included in the recall, I feel reassured knowing I may not have to waste time getting the issue resolved.

Past and present truck specs:

2022 Toyota Tundra Platinum 4×4
CrewMax 5.5′ bed
Advanced package
3.4L twin-turbo V6
384 HP / 470 LB-FT TQ
Magnetic Gray Metallic

2024 Toyota Tundra Platinum 4×4
CrewMax 5.5′ bed
TRD Off-road package
3.4L twin-turbo V6 hybrid
437 HP / 583 LB-FT TQ
Wind Chill Pearl

The biggest difference is the hybrid engine, which adds more power with a battery-assisted electric motor. The interiors are 95% the same between the two models. Aside from the color, here are some of the smaller differences in configuration and equipment:

2022
– Power running boards
– Power bed step
– Spray-on bed liner
– Adaptive Variable Suspension
– Dark chrome mesh grille
– Rear under-seat storage
– Dark gray painted 20″ wheels

2024
– TRD off-road suspension
– Matte gray honeycomb grille
– Locking rear differential
– Multi-Terrain Select, Crawl Control, Downhill Assist Control
– Multi-Terrain Monitor
– TRD off-road matte black 20″ wheels

Apple Vision Pro: First Impressions

Vision Pro

I recently had the opportunity to demo the new Apple Vision Pro at my local Apple Store, and I have many thoughts. Even though I was intrigued by the product, I decided not to be an early adopter and pre-order sight unseen, mainly due to the high cost. Up until about a year ago, I was skeptical about the idea of VR as a consumer device, but after reviewing the PS VR2, I was sold on the concept. Apple usually waits until they can make a big splash in a market segment before entering it, so I thought the Vision Pro would be the pinnacle of VR as we know it.

What is Apple Vision Pro?

Apple markets Vision Pro as the first spatial computing device, intentionally avoiding categorizing it as either a VR (Virtual Reality) or AR (Augmented Reality) system. Following my experience with the headset, I would categorize it more as an entertainment device.

What Can Apple Vision Pro Do?

Though not a complete computer, Vision Pro currently shares similarities with an iPad. It has the capability to run compatible iPad apps from the App Store, and developers can also create dedicated visionOS apps exclusively for Vision Pro. The iPad apps functioning on Vision Pro appear as flat windowed instances, similar to Safari. The advantage lies in the flexibility to arrange them within your “space” as desired, deviating from the confinement of one or two on the iPad screen.

Vision Pro

What Can’t Apple Vision Pro Do?

One notable limitation of Vision Pro is its inability to play VR games akin to those found on Meta Quest or PS VR2. While it’s plausible that similar or ported games may become available for Vision Pro in the future, there are currently none at its launch. It’s crucial to note that Vision Pro is not marketed as a gaming system, and purchasing it with that intention would be a waste of money and technology.

The Demo

Upon my arrival at the Apple Store at the scheduled time, an Apple specialist guided me through the process. Initially, he handed me an iPhone for a face and head measurement, similar to the Face ID setup. This measurement determined the appropriate size for the light shield of Vision Pro. Shortly after, another Apple employee presented a tray with a headset equipped with a pre-fitted light shield, along with a battery and cable. Something I found funny was the replaceable light shield had a mesh cloth protector on it, presumably to keep face grease from spreading person to person.

The Apple specialist then followed a scripted guide, instructing me on the precise placement of my hands on the headset and the correct method of putting it on my head. Surprisingly, the entire process took about 10 minutes. I anticipated a lengthier experience, but it seems I got all I needed during the brief period I spent in the goggles.

What I Liked

  • The overall feel of the device is much more premium and meticulously crafted than any of the other plastic headsets I’ve seen.
  • The internal screens you peer into surpass those of the PS VR2, a headset I’ve used extensively. This distinction is evident at first glance.
  • The software appears exceptionally refined, with ubiquitous Apple touches suggesting a thoughtful development tailored for mixed reality.
  • Spatial videos are a killer feature, reminiscent of how Live Photos changed the way I experience my photos. I intend to intentionally capture Spatial Videos with my iPhone, anticipating the possibility of enjoying them on Vision Pro in the future.
  • Panorama photos that you have taken in the past can be displayed as somewhat immersive photos that allow you to see the full perspective of the image.
  • Immersive videos (currently only produced by Apple as a demo) are definitely a look at the way we’ll consume media in the future. Whether this is live music performances, sporting events, or nature videos.
  • The Speaker Pods project sound downward toward your ears without entering them, unlike AirPods, are excellent. I wish Apple would develop a set of AirPods capable of replicating this design.

What Surprised Me

  • The overall weight of the headset was not an issue. It was a lot lighter than I initially thought after reading reviewers complain about the weight on their face.
  • The comfortability was beyond my expectation, again after reading reviews of the default head strap. It was much more comfortable and easy to wear compared to my PS VR2.
  • I didn’t finish the demo and immediately want to drop thousands of dollars on Vision Pro.
  • The eye tracking is good, but nothing revolutionary.

What I Didn’t Like

  • While the internal screens are very good, it’s immediately apparent that you’re looking at screens through a camera, rather than at the real world.
    Open the camera app on your phone and view your room on the display through the camera. That’s what it’s like inside the goggles, but even a little worse.
  • There were several times my hand gestures didn’t work correctly or even register with Vision Pro. About 25% of the time, it did not recognize my two-finger tap to signal an input.
  • The field of view, or lack of, is noticeable. So when you’re inside Vision Pro there are visible areas of your peripheral not engulfed in screen. Not dissimilar to wearing ski goggles.
  • The disparity between wearing the headset and utilizing the passthrough view within the well-lit Apple Store and removing the headset to see through my own eyes was significant. The existing cameras and screens struggle to capture the full spectrum of light and color in the real world.
  • My face was measured to get the correct light seal size, but I did have some light bleed into the goggles. I’m not sure if this is normal, my size was incorrect, or they didn’t have the exact size I needed in store.
  • The demo was too short. I would have liked more time to explore Vision Pro.

Final Thoughts

The Apple Vision Pro is impressive, and I’m excited about the direction the technology is taking. In a few years, I anticipate it becoming as ubiquitous as AirPods. While I’ll be observing from the sidelines for this initial generation, I eagerly await any chance to revisit the device. When Apple decides to release a second-generation Vision Pro with significant upgrades, I’ll be among the first to place an order.

Today I saved at least $3500!

Becoming an Expert in Cigar Smoking: Your Comprehensive Guide

cigar smoking man

The process of preparing, smoking, and all the associated elements of a cigar constitute a ritual. Many cigar enthusiasts, myself included, find solace and relaxation in this ritual. Achieving the ideal cut, a flawless light, and a satisfying draw requires practice, but the journey is as rewarding as the destination.

The Cigar

The world boasts a diverse array of cigars, varying in shapes and sizes. In this discussion, the focus will be on premium cigars, particularly those that are handmade. While machine-made cigars are an option, it’s akin to choosing your dad’s favorite light beer over a craft small-batch IPA.

Wrappers

The outer layer of the cigar, known as the wrapper, is what you see, and it often gives a hint of the cigar’s smoking characteristics. While color isn’t always a decisive factor, the type of wrapper leaf can be a preference, especially for novice smokers.

  • For a light and mild experience, look for wrappers like Connecticut, Sungrown, or those with shade or creme in the name.
  • If you prefer middle-of-the-road and medium-bodied cigars, consider options like Habano, Colorado, Claro, or San Andres.
  • For a heavy, full-bodied experience, opt for cigars with a dark, almost black wrapper, bearing names such as Maduro, Oscuro, or Corojo.

Sizes & Shapes

Cigars are gauged by their widths and lengths (typically in inches) and are often associated with a vitola, which is the general term for the size and shape of the cigar. As you gain more experience, you’ll discover your preferred size for different occasions.

A good starting size is the Robusto, a medium to small cigar ideal for 1-2 hour smokes. A typical Robusto is around five inches long with a ring gauge size of 50. Another well-known vitola is the Churchill, named after the famed British Prime Minister. Churchills are usually about seven inches long with a ring gauge of around 56, suitable for longer smokes lasting 2-4 hours. Read more about the Churchill here.

Beyond the traditional cylindrical cigar shape, there are varieties that provide a different mouth-feel or handheld experience. Popular alternative shapes include box-pressed, torpedo, and pyramid.

The Cut

The majority of handmade cigars are equipped with a cap at the end, requiring removal or cutting before smoking. The cap serves multiple purposes, such as preserving the cigar’s structural integrity during handling and preventing the unraveling of the wrapper leaf. To fully savor a quality cigar, the end must be modified to facilitate proper airflow. There are various methods to achieve this adjustment.

parts of a cigar
Parts of a cigar
  • Straight cut
    Utilizing specialized cigar scissors or a straight cutter involves slicing the cap with a single moving blade. In a pinch, a knife can also be used to remove the end of the cigar. The straight cut is the simplest type of cut.
  • Wedge or “V” cut
    Inserting a V-shaped sharp blade through the side of the cigar forms a wedge-shaped cutout, allowing air to be drawn in. This cut is unusual or unique, typically chosen for a change of pace or when encountering significant draw issues as it removes a substantial portion of the cigar.
  • Punch
    Using a circular metal piece, you can punch a hole into the cap, similar to perforating a piece of paper. This method is a suitable choice for cigars with larger ring gauges or those that are box-pressed.
  • Guillotine
    Like the straight cut, a guillotine is a type of cutter where two blades converge to make a clean slice. It is the most efficient and commonly used method for cutting a cigar before smoking.
  • Peel
    Depending on the cigar and the circumstances, it’s possible to remove the cap by peeling the end of the cigar and exposing the innards. This method is preferred when a cutter isn’t available or if you wish to maintain a more natural approach.

Regardless of the method you select to begin your cigar, remember a couple of key points. On the top of the cigar, you can observe the line where the cap overlaps the wrapper. Be sure not to remove more than below that line. Cutting a cigar too low may result in the wrapper unraveling, leading to problems with the draw and structural integrity of the cigar.

The Light

Following the cut, the next step is lighting. This essential process ignites the tobacco leaves, allowing the smoke to be drawn through the cigar for enjoyment. While the proper light is part of the ritual, it’s crucial to start the burn correctly. A well-executed light ensures the cigar burns evenly and can be fully appreciated. There are three commonly accepted methods for lighting a cigar, recommended for proper cigar etiquette.

  • Butane torch
    A butane-powered torch lighter, designed for clean burning, produces optimal heat, eliminating the need to hold a flame to the foot of the cigar for an extended period. These butane torches are widely preferred for lighting cigars, as they avoid fuel taste and deliver a high temperature for an efficient light.
  • Match
    In certain situations, you might resort to using matches. Although not the most efficient method for lighting a cigar, it serves as a viable option when a torch is unavailable. Be ready to use nearly a whole book of matches when smoking a cigar from start to finish, especially outdoors. Keep in mind that matches are not ideal in windy conditions, so plan accordingly.
  • Cedar spills
    Cedar sheets, occasionally provided with cigars, offer a traditional method for lighting. Transform the sheet into small strips, ignite one end with a lighter or match, and use the lit cedar piece to light your cigar. This elegant approach not only imparts a subtle cedar flavor but also adds a touch of sophistication. If executed correctly, it enhances the experience and adds a cool factor to your cigar ritual.

If you choose to use a conventional (Bic) lighter for lighting your cigar, ensure it operates on butane fuel and be mindful of the prolonged ignition times. Using a Zippo lighter with Zippo lighter fluid is not advisable, as it imparts a disagreeable taste to your entire cigar and may pose additional health risks. Alternatively, you can purchase a butane torch insert for your preferred Zippo lighter, providing a proper solution for cigar lighting while educating your friends on the suitable fuels.

The Smoke

Now that you’ve successfully prepared and lit your cigar, let me share some valuable tips to enhance your smoking experience and derive the utmost pleasure from your well-cut and lit cigar.

  • Go slow
    Take your time; this isn’t a quick five-minute smoke break with a Pall Mall in the cold. A cigar is meant to be savored for hours (depending on its size), offering a leisurely and paced experience. Excessive puffing and drawing too much heat into the body of the cigar can make it uncomfortably hot in your mouth and, more importantly, compromise the carefully crafted flavors intended by the cigar maker. Relax, pace yourself, and allow the cigar to unfold its nuances gradually.
  • Don’t inhale
    Unlike with cigarettes, it’s crucial to take it slow and avoid inhaling cigar smoke into your lungs. The tobacco in cigars provides a more intense experience and can make you feel unwell, especially if you’re not accustomed to it. Cigar smoking is focused on the mouthfeel and taste, emphasizing the sensory aspects rather than seeking a rapid nicotine fix in your bloodstream. Enjoy the rich flavors without the need to inhale deeply.
  • Enjoy
    Above all, relish the cigar and appreciate the diverse flavors and notes revealed during the burn. It’s an excellent means of relaxation, whether in solitude, good company, or paired with a drink. For a heightened smoking experience, consider trying a retrohale.
    If you ever feel dizzy or start coughing, take a break. Combating nicotine sickness can be aided by consuming sugar, either through eating or drinking. Prioritize your well-being and enjoy your cigar responsibly.

The End

The amount you choose to smoke is a personal preference, but a good guideline is to enjoy the cigar down to at least the band. Removing the band can be tricky, as excess glue may cause tearing and damage to the wrapper. Smoking the cigar down to the band allows the heat to melt the glue, making it easier to gently remove the band without harming the wrapper. Once removed, feel free to continue smoking until you’ve finished.

After completing your cigar, simply let it sit. Extinguishing a cigar prematurely creates a mess and an unpleasant smell. The cigar will naturally go out within 15 minutes and be cool to the touch. Once cool, dispose of it properly. Like cigarette butts, cigar remnants can be unpleasant, so part of being a responsible cigar smoker is cleaning up after yourself.

Dos and Don’ts

  • Do use butane to toast and light your cigar
  • Do offer a friend or acquaintance a spare cigar
  • Do make your torch lighter available for others to use
  • Do cleanup after yourself by removing ash or burnt cigars properly
  • Do support your local brick and mortar cigar store
  • Do puff a cigar nice and slow
  • Do wait at least 15 minutes between cigars

  • Don’t lick/moisten your cigar cap before cutting with a friends or shop cutter, save that for your own
  • Don’t snuff out your cigar in the ashtray or on the ground
  • Don’t inhale the smoke into your lungs, you’ll have a bad time
  • Don’t bring your own cigars to a cigar lounge, buy from the shop
  • Don’t offer or buy cigars for kids under 21
  • Don’t cut the cigar too far down
  • Don’t rush through smoking a cigar, take it slow

The Why

Many ask, “Why cigars?” Some recoil at the notion of smoking, given its negative reputation and health concerns. However, for me and many enthusiasts, it’s a source of great enjoyment. I liken it to having a beer after work—a moment to unwind and relax. Smoking a cigar, for me, is a ritual that commands my attention during the session. Despite the winter limiting my cigar enjoyment to one or two a month, I compensate during the warmer months. It’s not just a hobby; it’s a passion that extends to the thrill of hunting, collecting, and curating my cigar collection. Call it a collector’s disposition, not an illness.

This simple guide is my attempt to share the joy of cigar smoking with newcomers and those curious about the hobby. I hope it serves as a helpful introduction for anyone looking to unlock the world of cigars.

Head on over to BeardStix and see what I’ve been smoking lately.

Fried Potato Shapes Ranked

Rather than delving into the cliché “New Year, New Me” resolutions, let’s shift our focus to the realm of fried potatoes and the art of savoring them. In those moments of solitary contemplation, my thoughts often align with the contents of this specific list. While my intention in the new year may be to indulge less in these delectably greasy treats, the mere glimpse of this list allows me to mentally relish the flavors associated with each entry. of the ranked fried potato list.

1. Potato Tot
To craft the perfect tater tot, start by dicing a potato into petite pieces, shaping them into adorable tot forms, and then immersing them into the sizzling depths of the deep fryer. Tater tots, the result of this culinary perfection, effortlessly mixes the most exquisite qualities of hash browns and French fries, forming a mouthwatering, juicy nugget of flavor. The unique combination of textures and tastes places the tater tot in the esteemed position of my favorite among the diverse French fry shapes. It stands as a testament to the culinary genius that can be achieved by combining the crispiness of fries with the hearty goodness of hash browns. While not always readily available, the quest for the perfect tater tot finds its pinnacle at GetGo, which, as of my last update, stands out as the ultimate destination for indulging in these delectable treats.


2. Curly
When you cut a potato in a circular motion, you get the delightful curly fry, known for its unique shape and extra seasoning. While enjoyable, they secure the second spot on my list. Right now, Arby’s takes the lead with the best curly fry, thanks to their perfect balance of crispiness and flavor.


3. Crinkle-cut
Take a potato and skillfully slice it into strips using a specially designed serrated edge, and voila – you have the delightful crinkle-cut fry. These fries typically boast a slightly thicker profile compared to your standard French fry, and when deep-fried, they develop a satisfyingly crisp exterior. A recent addition to my preferred fry varieties, I must say that Raising Cane’s crinkle-cut fries have claimed the top spot as my current favorite. The unique texture and enhanced thickness of crinkle cuts bring a distinct and enjoyable twist to the classic French fry experience.


4. Fresh-cut
Skip the peeling process; simply cut the potato, submerge it in an ice bath, and straight into the fryer it goes. The fresh cut fry, characterized by its straightforward shape, often utilizes peanut oil for cooking, resulting in a distinct earthy flavor that pairs exceptionally well with a generous sprinkling of salt. When it comes to fresh cut fries, Five Guys stands as the unbeatable champion. Their mastery in preparing these fries, coupled with the earthy undertones from the peanut oil, makes Five Guys a top choice for indulging in the perfection of fresh cut fries.


5. Waffle
Fries cut with a special waffle blade on a mandolin get an alternating ridge of either side. Offering yet another unique shape on the fried potato, waffle fries are somewhat of a mind-bender when you look at them. It was until recently that the waffle fry became mainstream and it’s success is attributed to the best place you can get them right now, Chick-fil-a.


Honorable mentions:
Beer-battered
Shoestring
Steak

The Best Of: 2023

In 2023, the year was characterized by conflict, upheaval, and the ongoing impact of the COVID-19 pandemic. Despite these challenges, I have compiled a list of my best and favorite things from this year as a way to shift focus. While I typically indulge in watching numerous movies, the circumstances of this year prevented me from viewing several significant films that I had hoped to experience.

Best Movie
Barbie
What I thought was going to be a childish movie for kids, actually appealed to some of my comedic senses. Out of all the movies I watched in 2023, it was the most memorable and one I rated the highest. I hope to see more films this winter and have a better pick for next year. This live-action film managed to blend humor, adventure, and valuable life lessons seamlessly. The cinematography was visually stunning, and the acting was top-notch, making it an enjoyable experience for viewers of all ages. The story was heartwarming and had a strong message about the power of friendship and believing in oneself, which left a lasting impact. Barbie exceeded my expectations and proved to be a delightful surprise.
Runners-up: Asteroid City; Knock at the Cabin

Best TV Show
The Bear
The Bear, available on Hulu, has truly captured the hearts of many viewers, and with the second season released this year, the excitement has only grown. This captivating restaurant drama/comedy effortlessly blends elements of anxiety, emotion, and heartwarming moments, making it a truly binge-worthy experience. Whether you’re a fan of the culinary world or simply enjoy immersive storytelling, The Bear is a must-watch. Don’t miss out on the opportunity to dive into the series and witness the enthralling narrative unfold, leaving you eagerly anticipating each new episode.
Runners-up: Succession (MAX); Beef (Netflix)

Best Music Album
The Elovators – Endless Summer
The Elovators’ album “Endless Summer” has become an integral part of my music collection. Their unique blend of reggae and rock creates a captivating sound that has resonated with me. From the moment I discovered the band, I found myself eagerly anticipating the release of this album, and it did not disappoint. The tracks quickly became the soundtrack of my summer, and even now, I find myself turning to these songs on a daily basis. Their music has a way of transporting me to a laid-back state of mind, filled with sunny vibes and carefree moments. I was fortunate enough to attend their live performance in November, and it was an experience to remember. The energy and passion they bring to the stage is just as powerful and captivating as their studio recordings. It’s evident that The Elovators pour their hearts into their music, and this authenticity shines through in every note. The atmosphere at the concert was electric, with fans swaying to the rhythm and singing along to every word. It was a testament to the band’s ability to connect with their audience and create an unforgettable music experience.
Runners-up: Morgan Wallen – One Thing at a Time; mansionz – mansionz 2

Best Song
Morgan Wallen – Everything I love
When it comes to music, the beauty lies in its ability to transcend boundaries and connect with people from all walks of life. Morgan Wallen’s “Everything I Love” achieves just that with its soulful blend of throwback country and Americana influences. This captivating song is not only a breath of fresh air for the genre but also a testament to Wallen’s versatility as an artist. As the world embraced the allure of Americana music, Wallen’s interpretation of this genre brought a new dimension to his artistry, earning accolades from fans and critics alike. His ability to infuse classic country elements with modern sensibilities resonated deeply, making “Everything I Love” a standout in his discography.
Runners-up: Passafire – Offer; Rome & Duddy – Coast of Mexico

Best Video Game
Hogwarts Legacy
While I’m not a huge Harry Potter fan, I do like the Wizarding World crafted around the stories of the character. I was hesitant at first about an open-world game set in this universe, but after seeing some reviews upon the launch, I felt I needed to experience it. A well-crafted RPG game, Hogwarts Legacy excels with the story and chance encounters in the world. I was deeply immersed in this game, having spent well over 40 hours completing the story and side missions. The attention to detail in bringing the magical world to life, the intricate storyline, and the freedom to explore Hogwarts and its surroundings truly captivated me. The game mechanics, spell-casting, and the variety of magical creatures added a layer of complexity that kept me engaged throughout. Not many games can capture my attention and dedication these days like Hogwarts Legacy, and I eagerly look forward to any future expansions or sequels that further delve into the enchanting universe of Harry Potter.
Runners-up: Starfield (Xbox); Super Mario Bros. Wonder (Switch)

Best Mobile Game
NYT Games
For some reason, this year I started getting into crossword puzzles, and I thought, what better way to test my ability than to do the New York Times crosswords. I soon discovered that the NYT had an iOS app that included their crosswords, Wordle, and other word and letter games. I quickly subscribed to their service and have been playing daily for about 6 months. It’s been such a rewarding experience diving into these puzzles and word games. The New York Times crosswords are known for their clever, engaging clues and diverse range of themes, which always keep me on my toes. I’ve found that solving these puzzles not only sharpens my vocabulary and problem-solving skills but also provides a great mental workout. The Wordle game, in particular, has become a favorite quick challenge for me to tackle each day. The feeling of satisfaction when I fill in the final word is truly unparalleled. Overall, my journey with the NYT Games has been an enriching and enjoyable one, and I look forward to many more months of fun and mental stimulation.
Runners-up: Knotwords; finity.

Best iOS App
Callsheet
If you’re a cinephile or simply enjoy keeping track of your favorite movies and TV shows, look no further than Callsheet, the standout iOS app of the year. Created with the intention of replacing the cumbersome IMDB app, Callsheet provides a seamless experience for accessing movie and TV show details without the clutter of ads and promotions. Its sleek design, user-friendly interface, and superior features make it a refreshing addition to the app world. One of the most noteworthy aspects of Callsheet is its innovative feature that allows you to view the age of the actors during the filming of the specific movie or TV show you’re exploring. Gone are the days of wondering, “How old was she in this?” as Callsheet empowers you to effortlessly obtain this information within a matter of seconds, directly from your phone. This thoughtful addition enhances the viewing experience, bringing a new level of insight and appreciation to your favorite entertainment.
Runners-up: Threads; Sports Alerts

Best Podcast
Accidental Tech Podcast
As the year unfolds, the Accidental Tech Podcast (ATP) continues to hold the top spot as my favorite podcast. Despite not being a new addition to the podcast world, ATP has managed to maintain its relevance and captivate audiences with its compelling content. The trio of hosts delves into an array of technology topics, spanning from discussions on Apple’s latest innovations to the complexities of AI and the ever-evolving landscape of gaming. Not only does ATP cater to tech enthusiasts, but it also incorporates lively discussions on automotive technology, stemming from the hosts’ roots in a car-oriented podcast known as Neutral. This unique blend injects an appealing dynamic into the podcast, ensuring that every episode is a delightful fusion of tech insights and entertaining car talk. For me, tuning in to ATP each week has become a ritual, a source of not only staying updated with the latest tech developments but also immersing myself in the amiable banter and camaraderie shared among the three seasoned hosts. Their chemistry and camaraderie create a warm and welcoming atmosphere that keeps me eagerly anticipating each new episode.
Runners-up: Reconcilable Differences; The Backmarkers

Best New Tech Product
Sony PS VR2
As my first foray into virtual reality (VR), the PS VR2 certainly wowed me with all of its immersive features and technology. While the games to support the hardware have been a little lackluster, I hope it gets better as time goes one. Ready my full review of this cool new tech product here.
Runners-up: TP-Link Deco; Nest Cam Spotlight

Best New Apple Product
Apple iPhone 15 Pro Max
The latest flagship iPhone is proving to be the best yet with the additions of USB-C and a titanium build. Read my full review of this amazing product here.
Runners-up: Apple Watch Ultra 2; MacBook Pro M3


Links and sources:

Barbiehttps://www.themoviedb.org/movie/346698-barbieNYT Gameshttps://apps.apple.com/app/id307569751
Asteroid Cityhttps://www.themoviedb.org/movie/747188-asteroid-cityKnotwordshttps://apps.apple.com/us/app/knotwords/id1598756238
Knock At The Cabinhttps://www.themoviedb.org/movie/631842-knock-at-the-cabinfinity.https://apps.apple.com/us/app/finity/id1071698434
The Bearhttps://www.themoviedb.org/tv/136315Callsheethttps://apps.apple.com/us/app/callsheet-find-cast-crew/id1672356376
Successionhttps://www.themoviedb.org/tv/76331Threadshttps://threads.net
Beefhttps://www.themoviedb.org/tv/154385Sports Alertshttps://apps.apple.com/us/app/sports-alerts/id432450349
The Elovators – Endless Summerhttps://songwhip.com/the-elovaters/endlesssummerAccidental Tech Podcasthttps://atp.fm
Morgan Wallen – One Thing At A Timehttps://songwhip.com/morgan-wallen/onethingatatimeReconciliable Differenceshttps://relay.fm/rd
mansionz – mansionz 2https://songwhip.com/mansionz-2/mansionz-2The Backmarkershttps://relay.fm/backmarkers
Morgan Wallen – Everything I Lovehttps://songwhip.com/morgan-wallen/everything-i-loveSony PS VR2https://www.playstation.com/en-us/ps-vr2/
Passafire – Offerhttps://songwhip.com/passafire/offerTP-Link Decohttps://www.tp-link.com/us/deco-mesh-wifi/
Rome & Duddy – Coast of Mexicohttps://songwhip.com/romeandduddy/coast-of-mexicoNest Cam Floodlighthttps://store.google.com/us/product/nest_cam_floodlight?hl=en-US
Hogwarts Legacyhttps://www.hogwartslegacy.com/en-usApple iPhone 15 Pro Maxhttps://apple.com/iphone-15-pro
Starfieldhttps://www.xbox.com/en-US/games/store/starfield/9ncjsxwztp88Apple Watch Ultra 2https://apple.com/apple-watch-ultra-2
Super Mario Bros. Wonderhttps://supermariobroswonder.nintendo.comMacBook Pro M3https://www.apple.com/macbook-pro/

Apple Watch Ultra 2 – Beard Blog Review

Apple Watch Ultra 1.5

What’s New With Apple Watch Ultra 2

The latest Apple Watch Ultra introduces an all-new System-in-a-Package (SIP) called the S9, marking the first significant update in this department since the Series 6 back in 2019.
One notable improvement is the on-device Siri processing, which ensures quicker responses as your requests no longer need to travel to the internet and back.
The screen is now brighter, peaking at 3,000 nits, a significant 1,000 nits brighter than the original Apple Watch Ultra, marking a 300% increase compared to previous non-ultra models (excluding the first-generation).

“This feature may come across as a somewhat hastily added novelty to drive new watch sales.”

A new double-tap gesture offers the convenience of controlling various aspects of the Watch interface with just one hand. However, in my testing experience, I found it somewhat lacking. While the double tap registers successfully 90% of the time, it often makes assumptions about the function you intend to perform. For instance, if you wish to decline a call using the double tap, it might mistakenly answer the call, and there’s no way to customize this behavior. Moreover, when reading a notification, such as an iMessage, the one-handed operation doesn’t allow for scrolling, making it challenging to double tap to reply without knowing the full message content. This feature may come across as a somewhat hastily added novelty to drive new watch sales.

New things that don’t matter: 2nd-generation Ultra Wideband chip, double the storage capacity (64GB), and that’s it.

The new Modular Ultra face

In a side-by-side visual comparison of the Apple Watch Ultra and Ultra 2, I observed no discernible physical distinctions. Even the text engraved on the underside of both models simply reads “Apple Watch Ultra.”

In essence, this doesn’t appear to be a true second-generation product. Instead, it resembles more of a minor enhancement to the original, especially given that Apple no longer offers the original Apple Watch Ultra for purchase, exclusively offering the Ultra 2.

The Good

  • All new SIP that’s noticeably faster
  • Brighter screen for direct sunlight viewing
  • Siri is much faster to process and understand queries

Missed Opportunities

  • Headlining double tap feature is extremely limited
  • It seems the SIP improvements were focused on neural engine and brighter screen, not battery life
  • No visual indication you have the new hotness
  • Same case and screen size

The Bad

  • Software still not fully taking advantage of the Ultra’s screen
  • Watch faces lack variety. Only one new watch face for the Ultra
  • Apps are still mostly useless on the watch
8.0 / 10

How can the Apple Watch Ultra get to 10/10?
– Better software to utilize the screen size.
– Allow Night Mode on any watch face
– Custom watch faces
– Make better use of the all new SIP
– Ability to customize the gestures

Last year in my Apple Watch Ultra review I outlined who the Ultra watch is for. Apple seems to have leaned into that by not making many changes on the second generation. It sold well so they want to keep that up and have this be the top-tier Apple Watch for all walks of life.

Should You Upgrade?

If you are already the proud owner of an Apple Watch Ultra (first-generation) there is no need to upgrade. There is nothing in this year’s model that makes it worth it. Wait for the possible third generation in 2024. If you were on the fence last year about getting an Apple Watch Ultra, this is the watch for you. Everything about the first generation remains in the Ultra 2 with some nice enhancements. This is the ultimate Apple Watch, no matter if you run marathons, SCUBA dive, or like me and just wear it to the mall.

Read more Beard Blog tech reviews

Apple iPhone 15 Pro Max: The Beard Blog Review

iPhone 15 PM

It’s no surprise that Apple releases new iPhones in the fall every year, and this September is no different. Apple held an event on September 13th 2023 to announce four new iPhones and two new Apple Watches. All models were available to purchase starting on September 22nd. I again upgraded to the iPhone 15 Pro Max. Read about my thoughts on the 17th flagship iPhone.

Read more

The Wild Ride: A Short Story

AI generated image

On a warm summer evening, Zach and I embarked on an ambitious cooking venture, preparing a vast feast for an upcoming wedding. The meat smokers, Blackstone griddles, and charcoal grills were fired up and sizzling. Lots of moving meat, flipping burgers, and seasoning has happening. As we feverishly worked to have all the dishes ready and placed on the heat, time seemed to slip through our fingers. Before we knew it, the middle of the night had descended upon us. Exhausted from the restaurant-like cooking we were doing, I decided to take a break and lay down on the lush grass outside for a short nap.

As dawn’s gentle light broke over the horizon, I awoke to the sight of several wild turkey and deer peacefully grazing nearby. However, my serenity was abruptly shattered when a sudden, immense weight pressed down upon me, sending me into a panicked frenzy. I thrashed around, believing myself to be under attack, convinced that an oversized, rabid raccoon was my assailant. There was some rolling around and struggle, but thankfully I wasn’t in any pain. At this point, I was laid still, and couldn’t move.

Fortunately, Zach, alerted by the commotion, rushed to my aid. In the dim light of dawn, it was difficult to see the shape of the mysterious attacker. After a tense struggle, we finally managed to remove the heavy presence from me. Catching my breath, I asked Zach, “Was that a fucking raccoon?” Breathing heavily from his own exertions, Zach replied, “No, it’s a damn elephant!”

Confusion overcame me as I began to dust myself off. Unexpectedly, Zach tackled me to the ground, and we watched as the tiny pachyderm scampered past us, narrowly avoiding a collision. “What in the world is happening?” I exclaimed from the ground.

The bafflement continued when the animal approached me with an unexpectedly friendly demeanor. Upon closer inspection, it became clear that this was no ordinary elephant but an adorable baby elephant with fluffy fur, reminiscent of a golden retriever, and an unusually short trunk. Without hesitation, we bonded, snuggling together on the grass, wrapped in a blanket. While I had never encountered a baby elephant in real life, this one was decidedly unique. Astonishingly, my new friend seemed content and wanted nothing more than to cuddle.

I gingerly wrapped her in the blanket and proudly paraded her around, introducing my exotic companion to anyone in the vicinity. To my bewilderment, most onlookers appeared unfazed, as though a baby African elephant casually found in the wilds of Pennsylvania was an everyday occurrence. One person even nonchalantly remarked, “Oh yeah, I see an elephant in the woods over there from time to time.” I couldn’t help but wonder what kind of surreal world I had stumbled into.

Realizing that I needed to ensure the well-being of my newfound friend, I contemplated taking her to a veterinarian for a check-up. However, someone advised against it, leaving me yelling, “But I have to make sure she’s okay!”

Moments later, darkness enveloped everything, and I awoke. It had all been a dream…


I had this wild dream just last night and it was so vivid and unusual I had to capture it. I hope you enjoy the short story.

An AI generated image

iPhone 14: One Year Later

It’s been about a year since I received my iPhone 14 Pro Max and published my review. Normally I don’t revisit these as I’m looking forward to a new iPhone in the fall. This year I wanted to highlight my experiences with my iPhone 14. It could be too early to tell, but this may be the best iPhone I’ve ever owned. That of course comes with some concessions as it’s not perfect.

iPhone 14 Pro Max

Durability

The iPhone 14 Pro Max is the most durable iPhone I’ve ever owned. It may be one of the most durable pieces of technology I’ve ever used. I normally don’t use a case, and this year my iPhone didn’t spend a single minute in any protection. The first few months, I babied the device, but after the first drop, that quickly faded. Now, on average, I drop my phone on a hard surface five times a week. In the past, by the summer, my iPhone is so beat up that I need to get it replaced with AppleCare. This year is an exception. Not only do I not need to get it replaced, but there is barely a mark anywhere on it. The most noticeable blemishes are on the screen and around the stainless steel edge. About six months ago, I noticed a deep scratch about one inch long in the middle of my screen. I have no idea where it came from, but I’ve lived with it since. As I mentioned before, I drop it a lot. I’ve even dropped it on concrete from waist-high and cringed as I bent over to pick it up, expecting to reveal a spiderweb of glass on the front. Time and time again, it comes out unscathed

The Dynamic Island

Not quite a gimmick, but not really a useful feature. The Dynamic Island debuted as the coolest way to date to blend the front camera into the screen. In practice, it kind of just faded and became more of a button to get to music playing or a progress bar for when something is uploading. I still like it, but I’m hopeful it gets better in the next iterations before it’s replaced by under-screen cameras and sensors.

Always On Display

Probably the biggest functional difference in the iPhone 14 Pro and Pro Max is the always-on display. I’ve heard that some people turn it off to save battery life, but in my (and others) testing, it does not have a significant impact on daily battery life. At first, it was somewhat odd to look over at your iPhone on the table and see a full-color display lit up, but I quickly got used to it. Now it serves as a way for me to glance at the time, widgets, and what’s currently playing. I love how Apple engineered the display and software to not just go monochrome like some other phones, but also preserve your wallpaper while giving you the choice to turn it off. Once again, the long wait was worth it.

Not So Great Points

  • The cameras are fine, but I’m ready for a major upgrade.
  • One thing I noted in my review last year was the focus distance of the main camera, especially when scanning barcodes. This was a pain point all year and I believe Apple will fix that on the next iPhone.
  • Battery life has also been just fine. It seems like this phone’s battery is degrading faster than previous ones.
  • The Pro colors are boring, but I don’t see Apple changing this anytime soon.

Pour one out for Lightning

The iPhone 14, 14 Plus, 14 Pro, and 14 Pro Max may likely be the last iPhones with the Lightning connector. While it’s over 10 years old, the Lightning connector is one of the best port innovations we’ve seen in a long time. Some may forget that Apple was part of the consortium that helped develop USB-C, so it was loosely based on Lightning. In a physical connector sense, Lightning is better than USB-C because the complicated and fragile bits are on the inside of the device, whereas USB-C exposes them on the cable side. It was a big deal when Lightning launched on the iPhone 5 in 2012, and it’s still in use on a lot of products today. Let’s pour one out for the previous best charging solution and the originator of the reversible charging cable.

iPhone 14 to 15

The iPhone 14 Pro Max is a great device and while it may be the best iPhone I’ve ever used, there is always the newest one to take that title. I probably won’t think about the 14 again after this, but it remains a favorite in my book. The next iPhone is rumored to be named the iPhone 15, in numerical order after the current iPhone 14. If all goes well, you will soon be reading my review of the next iPhone right here on Beard Blog.

A Short Story About Life

Let’s take another trip back in time to before I had a blog and wrote random essays in Microsoft Word and saved them away from a rainy day.

This is titled “Short Story by Ben Beard” with no other context. I don’t remember writing this, but it has a lot of interesting takes.

This was written over 10 years ago, right after I got married. Keep in mind this was drafted well before the founding of Musk’s company Neuralink.
The short story appears below exactly how I wrote it. Enjoy!


Marriage is a wonderful thing. You get to spend the rest of your life with someone whom you think is the only person that you could stand for that long. As I look out the window of our SUV I can see the rain drops forming trails down the glass. It’s a pretty long drive to the airport from our suburban home. I have lots of time to reflect on that last twenty years of my life. In my forties still with no children I wonder what is in store next. My wife of twenty years has never wanted to have children but I have still held out hope that someday this will change. “Jeff!” she yells from the passenger seat, “watch the damn road, we’re going to be late!” In fact we were 2 hours early for our international flight out of Pittsburgh. A rainy Sunday morning that we have been looking forward to for quite some time.

After two decades we have finally reached our twentieth wedding anniversary and are celebrating by going on cruise around beautiful Europe. We have been saving money for the last ten years for this since traveling in Europe has become so expensive. Money hasn’t come easy to us lately, we have had many obstacles to get over to achieve where we are today. My wife Annie has struggled with her career and now finds herself in another job change. Starting out working with computers, she changed to marketing. While she made a lot of money doing that, she didn’t feel happy about lying to the world. Annie went through this phase of helping people and making the world a better place. Thankfully this didn’t last long because she made zero income doing that. Lately her passion has been for acting, although that ties in well with my career aspirations, I can’t cast in her in all my movies. While she waits for her late acting career to take off, she just finished neuro-nursing school and has a new job lined up for when we return. Luckily for us she will be involved with changing out and upgraded memory modules in the human brain’s neo-cortex. This will allow us to process new ideas faster and make decisions quicker than ever. They say by 2023 everyone will be completely outfitted with the new neo-cortex memory upgrade.

We’ve arrived at the airport and begin to look for a place to park. We just purchased our new vehicle so I want to park somewhere it’s not going to get damaged. This state-of-the-art SUV has all the bells and whistles, including drink dispenser, auto-steer, optional six-wheel drive, and of course neruo-memory uplink. Kia has been the face of luxury over the last ten years as Mercedes and BMW fell when Germany decided to become a socialist nation. That’s a different story that can be read out of every history book. We are happy with our purchase and see this as a new start for us. This vacation will be the beginning of our new life. When we return my latest and greatest movie production will be released. Set to be the biggest movie since ‘The Expendables 5’. I haven’t been making movies very long but I feel this is my big break. I had movie studios fighting for the rights to finance this and signed some of the biggest actors around to start in it. You will see the likes of Jaden Smith, Mark Wahlberg Jr. and established actress Tallulah Moore-Willis. I’m very proud of what I made and hope this career will be long and prosperous. Now I am focusing on having a great trip with my wife.